Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Cookie Wars

Cast of characters:
Help Desk Queen - yours truly
Domestic Goddess – yours truly
Knuck - Hubby (shortened name for Knucklehead)
Hottie – Son (shortened name for Hot Rod)
Brutus, Boo Boo, Budgey, Boo Pup pup, Boo dog - Dog that is the real head of the household. He is not even in this story but my other love so I had to give him a shout out.

Once upon a Monday, the Help Desk Queen arrived home from a hectic day at work and immediately started job #2, Domestic Goddess. Although work was phone ringing hell, I started dinner as soon as I got home because (1) I like to eat (2) Knuck gets grumpy if he is hungry (3) and more important, if I cook Knuck will clean. That is one of the rules of the palace. I will take cooking over cleaning ANY day. Ever heard the phrase, the calm before the storm? This was it. I proceeded to start a quick and easy dinner which is my normal M.O. during the workweek. As I started Knuck was lurking around the kitchen looking for a snack…. because that is what he does. He did not earn the nickname, Snackster, at work for nothing! Here is where the drama begins.…

Knuck spots the sleeve of Oreo cookies that Hottie got in his Christmas stocking. Not just any cookies, these had the cute little toy soldier on the side of the box. Knuck had to have his snack fix, so he opened the box and ate (only) one. Hottie walks in kitchen and realizes that Dad (Knuck) has opened his box of cookies. He proceeds to chastise Knuck about respecting other people’s things, and he (Knuck) should have asked him (Hottie) prior to opening his cookies. Yada, yada, yada…. Now keep in mind Hottie is a boy that has really good manners and wasn’t being a snot. I think he was upset because it was part of his stocking stash and his dad did not ask.

Knuck was supposed to take Hottie to his physical conditioning class as I finished up dinner (Hottie eats when he gets back because one does not exercise with a full tummy). Hottie is still miffed at Knuck because of the cookie incident so he “wants mom to take me.” So I asked Knuck to slice up the loaf of French bread while I am taking Hottie to class. Knuck having fun pushing Hottie’s buttons says “I will cut some bread for you and me”, meaning he would not cut any for Hottie. At this point I am still in kitchen cooking until time to take Hottie to class.
Next thing I know, Hottie is running into the kitchen crying and shouting “I didn’t mean to hit you in the face…. Wahhhhh, sniff sniff, wahhhhh!!” Now we have all been 13 year old’s and highly dramatic so just imagine this in your head to get the full effect. Next thing I hear Knuck in the living room saying “Get out of my house!” I don’t know what the heck is going on! I finally got it out of Hottie. He was trying to be funny and threw a cookie (not the Oreos but a big cookie that was wrapped up in Saran Wrap) at his Dad. He threw it across the room and it hit Dad in the face. Hottie is still crying, Knuck is stewing on the couch but showing no sign of aggression. Why are you crying like this, I ask. “Dad is going to hit me!” Yea, right, because you are hit all the time. NOT! I see an Oscar in Hottie’s future with all this drama. Knuck will be up for best supporting actor after the “get out of my house” comment. I grabbed my keys and told Hottie “lets go.” Took him to his class and he was still crying in the car. At this point I am laughing hysterically because this entire thing is so stupid and funny! Then Hottie gets mad at the Queen because it is “not funny.” It took every ounce of energy that I had left after a hectic day to tamp down the laughter that was bubbling over. I managed to get him dropped off without any further drama.

Back at home, ate dinner and within the hour it was time to pick up Hottie. Queen declared that Knuck will pick Hottie up from class. I am tired! So Knuck picked up Hottie per the royal decree. When I inquired later on about how it went, Knuck said that Hottie walked far away from him to the car and sat in the back seat instead of the primo “Shot Gun” (front seat). No words were exchange between the two of them.

Fast forward, next day. It is a normal day like any other. Knuck and Hottie are friendly again. The remaining cookies are sitting on the kitchen untouched. I am taking bets on how long the cookies will be sitting in that same place untouched.

They need to save momma from all this drama!


Always Home and Uncool said...

off topic - email me re: the hubby coming to CT. Where in CT will he be staying for the month? We got Indian casinos, minor league hockey, some cool historical stuff, easy acces to Boston or NYC. Name yer poison!

Chef E said...

You coined it cookie wars! Oh, if yer coming my way I will meet you at a wine bar in NYC, lol...that story is hysterical...I do not think that happened in my house, except when I went to visit my son in MO...he ate all my flamin hot cheetos all in one night, after I had gone to bed...and I did not realize it till I was ready to go to airport and was bringing them back with me...arrrrggghhh those kids!

Misadventurous Mommy said...

Though this has little to do with what you wrote I am an Oreo's sad, and dangerous!

Off topic...I LOVE Real Housewives (and I responded to the comment that you left on my blog, but I wanted to here as well) Anyway until last night I Tamra was my favorite housewife, but when I saw what she did to Gretchen it made me so mad...she was being so catty and jealous...craziness...and I am so glad to know you watch it as well now I know who to come to to discuss the episodes after I watch them.