Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Girlie Wisdom (author unknown)

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.
2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.
6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my sweatpants.
10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!
11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' ....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
12. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

6 comments:

Chef E said...

This is so cute and funny, thanks for sharing...I may have heard a few from the past, but long forgotten!

Aubrey said...

OMGosh! #1 had me laughing and it didn't stop there!

Thanks for stopping by my blog and entering the giveaway! Come back tomorrow to see who the lucky gal is!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

LOL you kill me! Happy Tuesday :)

Wunderwoman said...

I resemble more than one LOL

Misadventurous Mommy said...

This is too funny!

Alexis AKA MOM said...

How is this an award, I have to work for it! LOL just playing, ok I have a few blogs already scheduled so this will go up on Friday's post ;).

P.S. I got my package today, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I can't say it enough I LOVE the necklace I actually forgot one today and it matched my outfit. OMG I love you for all the box top I'm so going to win. I gave up pretenting it's for Cole, he could care less. And that purse is SUPER cute, I just love it! Thank you so much, you're the sweetest and kindess person. I have a little package I'm putting together for you :).